Bitchfest.

I am 15 minutes away from doing some major homeworking...yeah, it's been a while since I've "worked hard" -- okay, that's a lie. It's more like it's been a while since I've done homework. I use to do homework right when it was assigned, okay, I really need to stop lying on this blog. I use to do my homework relatively early (as in, 8 pm the night before it was due -- which isn't bad), but lately, all I want to do is slack. I just don't care. I've given up. I just dont' care about anything. If I had my way, I wouldn't even show up to school, I would just sit at home, sleep and eat. I just don't care about anything. Hence why I think life sucks. Everything's about tests, exams, homework, school, boys, tests, exams, friends, drama, boys, homework. I hate it. It is just a cycle of suckiness, of boredom, of complete oblivion. I can't even say I enjoy school anymore, I only go for the sake of my parents, and I guess sometimes my friends. I don't even know why I'm here at Blenz. I've been at home for the last hour contemplating whether I should even come down here to do homework or should I just lay around the house being fat. Obviously, I decided to be a bigger person and come down here to do my homework.

Other than my bitchfest of how life sucks right now, I've added a new thing to bitch about other than school and work (which is just a load of easy crap) -- I've given up on liking anyone. I honestly do not need to like anyone in my life right now, all they do is pose as a distraction in my life. Ever since I fell, fell hard (in highschool terms), I didn't really care about school, but I felt like I could do anything in the world (it sounds confusing, but honestly, it isn't). I just focused so much of my time, so much concentration on him that I've lost my will to do anything at school. You'd think that maybe if I got over him, everything will just go back to normal, that I'd live like I did before. Unfortunately, now that I'm over him, everything just keeps spiraling downwards. At least when I liked him I had the willpower to do some things. Now? I honestly, do not care about anything. There isn't much else I'd really care about, and that I'd make an extra effort to attain. This is what liking someone does to me. When I like them, I get this rush of adrenaline like I could do anything in the world, and after I get over them it's like the rush of adrenaline all came crashing down a little bit too fast. Way, too fast.

Well, I suppose I should go to my homework now. Fuck my life.