Reminders.

"i know someday you'll have a beautiful life, i know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky. but why, why, why can't it be, why can't it be mine?"

• "maybe when things turn green again, it will be good to say you know me."
• "too many hours in this midnight, too many corners in my mind. so much to do to set my heart right. oh, it's taking so long."
• "that's the way this wheel keeps working out. that's the way this wheel keeps working out. and i won't be the last, be the last, to love you."
• "can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky, are like shooting stars? i can really use a wish right now."
• "i'm in repair. i'm not together but i'm getting there."
• "oh it's taking so long. i could be wrong. i could be ready. but if i take my heart's advice, i should assume it's still unsteady."
• "what am i suppose to do when i'm all choked up and you're okay?"
• "if fear hasn't killed me yet, then nothing will. i'm in the war of my life."
• "i got a hammer, and a heart of glass. i gotta know right now, which walls to smash."
• "it's another heart attack, and i can't handle that. love, i need you back."
• "like parachutes and air ballooons, satellites and lonely moons, we'll still be drifting apart."
• "she's got a heart of gold, but every now and again she'll turn to grey."
• "you're inches from my fingertips, i've come as close as i can get."
• "you made it look so perfect, when it wasn't meant to be. your love made me blind."
• "they say every tear has it's reasons, every smile has it's own season."
• "i dont know where i'll fall down, but i'm sure to hit the ground."
• "when you fall the hardest, you find how strong you are."
• "what's somebody like you, doin in a place like this? i'll never be the same, if we ever meet again."
• "if you took my heart, return it. until you've crossed the bridge, you've burned it. burned it."
• "you don't know i struggle. no, you don't. you don't know the trouble that you cause me, you don't see it's harder everyday, since you went away."
• "somewhere i, let all my defenses down. never thought to turn around, and you did not make a sound."
• "do you have a master plan? see it turning red, like a bullet through the chest. lay it down to rest, it's a lover's final breath."
• "all the details in the fabric are the things that make you panic."
• "half my heart's got a real good imagination, half of my heart's got you."
• "cause you're not the only one, who's ever felt this way. don't let the world cave in, just tell me that you'll stay."
• "you're talking shit again, it's a heartbreak warfare."
• "i can't stop lovin you, i can't stop lovin you, with half of my heart."
• "i'm an assassin and i had a job to do. little did i know that boy's an assassin too. he's an assassin, and he had a job to do."
• "it's been a long night in new york city, its been a long night in baton rouge."
• "i dont remember you looking any better, but then again i don't remember you."
• "do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands? would you get them if i did? no you won't."
• "i picked a wishing weed underneath your mother's tree and i asked it to bring you back to me."
• "but i, but i don't want to parachute into love. no, i want to skydive."
• "let's walk the tightrope together, without a safety net. and when we fall, and we will fall, let's fall forever."
• "i see your brown eyes every time i close mine. you make it hard to see."
• "he left a mark, but i don't need it."
• "when you're dreaming with a broken heart, waking up is the hardest part."
• "our love is like a song, but you won't sing along..."
• "maybe you'll call me someday, hear the operator say the number's no good, and that she had a world of chances for you."
• "i know i could never face someone that could sound like you."
• "you have suffered enough, and warred with yourself, it's time that you've won. take this sinking boat and point it home, we still got time."
• "bust your windows."
• "you give me 10,000 nights of thunder, but i will give them all back to you."
• "behind enemy lines."
• "even if i knew my place should i leave it there? should i give up? or should i just keep chasing pavements, even if it leads nowhere."
• "this love is taking all of my energy."
• "i'm reaching but the rest is up to you."
• "the trouble with love is it doesn't care how fast you fall, and you can't refuse the call, see, you've got no say at all."
• "that's the way it is, we live with what we miss. we learn to build another wall, till it falls."
• "it's a brilliance meant to fade. we were a brilliance meant to fade. i miss you, chris."
• "and now, i miss everything about you. can't believe that i still want you."
• "if this is how it hurts, it couldn't get much worse, if this is how it feels to fall."
• "go on and leave my love on the street."
• "all of these mixed emotions, tangled up in pure confusion."
• "it's not a bird, not a plane. it's my heart and it's going, gone away."
• "i just remembered. it was his birthday yesterday. happy birthday..." - 10:27 AM, May 12th.

Reminders.

A year from now...

...it won't be so fun to mock anymore. So whatever. I don't even have time now to be mad at you for being so fuckin' ridiculous. Because I know this time next year, everything will have caught back up to you. Everything. And your world will come crashing down like a motherfuckin' bomb. Yeah, I'm spending my Friday nights, my Saturday nights, hell my entire Sunday, busting my ass, studying. All I get is a "Seriously?" and a raised eyebrow from you. I don't need that. And I certainly don't need a text message that goes like, "so hows studying going? Still going strong, or are you 'studying' now, meaning u got distracted by something". A year from now, you're going to take those words and shove it all back up your ass. You know why I'm studying? You know why, instead of going to movies, blowing my money, I'm at a fuckin' library on a Friday night and a Saturday night? Because I don't want to end up like how you'll end up. I don't want to end up at a school where the acceptance policy is 'first come first serve'. So whatever, I'll comply with your irresponsibility now, and I'll let you say whatever you want to say about my studying time. Because I know by this time, next year, you'll understand just why I'm doing all this. And I'll stand there, and watch your life crumble into a giant piece of nothing.

p.s. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I spend all day all night, pleading, wishing and praying that you'll fail. I wish you the best of luck, I wish you can succeed, I wish you'd work hard so your life won't become miserable. I wish you the motherfuckin' best of luck. But I don't think luck is even going to help you. So whatever, failure.

you're theory on school? who am i kidding, you don't even know how to do this math.