Don't even know where to begin, how to start, what to say, when to tell, who to bitch. I think I've given up on trying whatever I've been trying for the last year, year and half, maybe.
Whatever, it doesn't matter how long I've been trying. You'll never know. I don't want to be all up in your face and say all the things that might just make matters worse, instead I resorted to subtly telling you. Unfortunately, you're so warped up in other thoughts that apparently, I don't matter. And if I still do, whatever effort you're putting in, makes me feel like I don't matter.
Sometimes, before you commit yourself to something, you ponder (maybe it's just me), would I ever be like that? Would I really choose something new and shiny over something I've known a shitload longer? All because I'm fixated on the things that the new and shiny thing offers? I think most people would say no (realizing that I'm not talking about materialistic things). I think most people would say that they would choose the thing they've known since forever over the new and shiny. But once you choose to commit yourself to the new, your perspectives change. Although I can't quite wrap my head around as to why someone could be so brutal and axe out the old for the new, but I can understand that perspectives do end up changing.
'Cause in my big picture, I'm the old thing that feels like it's been dumped. Long ago. Although I am 100% sure I wasn't axed out on purpose, that I wasn't a headshot picture on a table being checked off.
I think that axing me was all done, subconciously.
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