Who the fuck were you? Where did the boy I met a year and some 24 for days ago, went? Shit boy, I don't know why the hell I'm still so hung up about you. Like I said, it's been more than a year. Pathetic, huh? Yeah, I know too. I don't know why I'm so fucking crazy.
Shit, why the fuck were you here when I was there? You were suppose to be there and me here. Why is it that our fate was so in synch last year, that we both left our hometowns and went to a foreign place -- and this year? I travelled to where you were from, and you to mine. We absolutely switched places. And when I came home, you left.
Hell, I don't even know if you even remember who the fuck I am. I'm the crazy girl, that is still hung up about you, the fuckin crazy girl that has you running through her head every fuckin day for the last 380 days. Why, why the fuck did I have to leave this town, when you were here? Did you stay here? How long? Where? I bet you were downtown all the time -- and I could have bumped into you. Were you at Canada Place? How long were you dwelling there? For a while, I bet. I could have gone. I could have been there. I could have seen you. I could have had all the answers I wanted. I could have. Yeah, I could have. But do you know what I have now? Not you, that's what.
I understand, I completely, 100% understand that we were nothing. We were absolutely nothing but people who have exchanged names, a few personal stories, and a few hours together...Oh yeah, a few hours, I mean, 5 days. Yeah, just a few. But I understand, I must've just been one of those "Hi, nice to meet you!" type of girl for you. I didn't mean a thing. I didn't mean a thing to you at all. I understand that.
Then why didn't you just say "no" when your dear sister said "you know, he likes you." You could have said no. Why did you have to send all those mixed messages? Why did you have to send all those messages that told me all those things I thought you felt? Why? You could have been the boy on the bus that didn't talk to me, or didn't like me. You could have been the boy on the bus that thought he was too cool for a girl like me. You could have been the boy at the airport that didn't say all those stupid things. You could have been the boy at the airport that just didn't talk to me at all. You could have been the boy on the plane that didn't tell me he wanted to hang out again. You could have been the boy on the plane that didn't switch seats so that we could talk. You could have been the boy without all the mixed messages. You could have not been the assassin. And I would have never known you were an assassin.
As if it's not honest enough, yeah, I still miss you crazily. Yeah, I wish I didn't send that message. Yeah, I wish I didn't even meet you. Hell, I'd trade a week of my tomorrows to forget about you. Shit, I would. It's been a year, I would do a lot of things to forget about you for forever. I hate the fact that you're on my mind all the time, I hate the fact that I'm changed because of you. I hate the fact that you are what you are. I hate the fact that everyone says your the bad guy, and if you were, that I fell for the act. I hate the fact that you deleted me. I hate the fact that you never gave me an explanation. I hate that I still miss you
Shit, I miss you.
