Careless; Care less

So long since I have had to fight for love,
And even if I win, I'm gonna lose too much.

So maybe I shouldn't be so careless with what I give away,
I don't believe in being cautious.
So I surrender every ounce of my courage and every bit of my breath,
But you couldn't care less.

And I cannot forgive you for your touch,
To give me just a touch is not enough.

I can't sleep without the TV,
The silence is screaming in my head.
All I know is the way love leaves echoes inside me,
To always remind me what I had.
And what you stole.


My heart breaks a little every time I think about you. It's been 11 months. I think my heart is completely torn apart and ripped into pieces. And I don't know where all the pieces went. Fuck Chris, I still fucking miss you. I miss you.

Beautiful

I need a new outlet, I know some shits so hard to swallow.
And I just can't sit back and wallow,
in my own sorrow.
But I know one fact I'll be one tough act to follow,
one tough act to follow, I'll be one tough act to follow.

...

In my shoes, just to see
what it's like, to be me I'll be you, let's trade shoes.
Just to see what it'd be like to,
feel your pain, you feel mine.
Go inside each other's minds
just to see what we find.
Look at shit through each other's eyes.

...

They can all get fucked.

...

Nobody asked for life to deal us
with these bullshit hands we're dealt.
We have to take these cards ourselves
and flip them, don't expect no help.
How I could have either just
sat on my ass and pissed and moaned.
But take this siuation in which I'm placed in
and get up and get my own.

...

But I already told my whole life story,
not just based on my description,
'cause where you see it from where you're sitting,
is probably a hundred and ten percent different.
I guess we would have to walk a mile,
in each other's shoes, at least.
What size you wear? I wear tens.
Let see if you can fit your feet.

...

They can all get fucked.

Getting ready...already!

Grade 11 classes have officially ended! Yes! I can't believe grade 11 went by, just like that. I'll miss it. I ended this year with my favourite class, with my favourite teacher....oh, and a test. Still. It was a good year. And the last month of harsh working has definitely proven to be a good use of time. I studied like mad, and Irving has become my second home basically. It's been really good. I'm really proud of what I've accomplished and now I know just how much potential I have for next year, and I can't wait. There are so much for me to look forward to, it's great. I know school just ended...although I also have those darn exams...like fuck my life. It's okay, two more weeks. Two more weeks, and it's all fucking over!!! Four exams, and one provincial. Almost done. Almost done! I still can't believe how fast this year went by, it's like a motherfucking hurricane. It basically went like: school-halloween-christmas break-birthday-midterms-springbreak-london-WORK-classes over!...now just one last thing to tackle: Exams.

So, now I'm preparing for the future. I need to take sewing lessons...practice sewing, make a damn good garment and university applications! I feel really optimistic about this, not sure why, but I just do. I'm really excited about grade 12, cause I know I'd be taking all the classes I want to take, and I know I'm going to be really happy to be in it. Not like this year, physics and chem...worst decision of my life. Next year is going to be good. I know it. I'm going to make it good. And I'm also going to get into the school I want to get into. I will. I will. I know it.

Life is good. Even though I still miss you...alot.