Love Happens

It was a good movie, for me. As cheesy as it is, I feel inspired to blog about something after watching it. Basically, the movie is about this man, Bruce, who lost his wife to a freak car accident. After her death, he wrote a book called, 'A-OKAY', a self-help book that deals with the grieving mourning of a deceased loved one. He went to Seattle for a seminar that lasted a couple of days for his book, there he meets Eloise, who broke up with her boyfriend after he slept with a groupie. The movie goes on about Bruce doing seminars, getting to know Eloise (all the while falling or her), and as the movie goes on we learn that Bruce doesn't follow his own advice he gives in A-OKAY. By the end of the movie, Bruce breaks down at one his seminars and we learn that he was the one who was at the wheel when his wife died in the car accident. He finally learns to forgive himself and begin to move on. At the last scene, Bruce shows up at Eloise's flower shop and the two kiss. So that was my little summary of the movie, it wasn't a bad movie, but it felt kinda long. I'm not the biggest fan of Aaron Eckhart, although he portrayed Bruce quite well, and I like Jennifer Aniston, so it was generally a good movie for me.

Anywho, this got me thinking. I don't think anyone can understand how much I fell for Chris, or maybe the idea of me and Chris. Which ever, it involved Chris. I try to explain to my friends that Chris meant a lot to me, despite his actions. I don't talk about Chris much at school, because I want to forget about him. I want him out of my mind, as if we never met. But that's not moving on, that's just denying the past. I'm definitely not 100% over Chris, I'm not 100% done with the feelings, but I know I'm making my way there. Whether this cold-turkey ruse hurts like a bitch or not, in the end, it works. I may just be lying to myself this moment, sub-conciously, that I'm close to being over Chris. You know when you are so sure of something, but a couple of weeks later you breakdown crying in your room? I don't want this to be one of those. I know I will be over Chris eventually, I know these feelings will go away. But I also do know that I won't forget about Chris, I know he'll always be somewhere in my mind, wandering around, he'll always have that mark he left on my heart. That mark is still under repair though, it's getting it's stitches and I think I'm close to finishing those stitches. I'm not going to deny the past, I'm not going to not allow myself to think about him, I'm just going to admit I fell for someone who played his nice-boy act very well, and I made a mistake. In saying so, I'm not going to purposly think about him, if he wanders in, he'll be there. I'm also not going to blame myself for falling for his character, and instead, realize that sometimes people aren't always what they seem to be at first. Maybe someone better will come along someday, maybe not, either way, I'm glad to know that this time I followed my heart. I'm going to move on.

I'm not going to lie, it drives me crazy wondering if he ever thinks about me. I hope he does. And I hope it hurts.