Have you ever read New Moon? I did. When he left, she couldn't do anything. She moped, she sat, she did everything routinely but with no life. How come I'm doing the exact same thing? We didn't even start, this isn't the first time this has happened. But it feels like we've broken up.
I don't want to go out and see family. I just want to stay inside and mope. I don't want to be accompanied by family, I just want to be alone. I don't want to eat, I don't want to shop, I don't want to do anything but curl up in a ball and cry. I almost cried today on the bus, because everything reminded me of you. Even the guy standing in front of me in the line for the bus was wearing Abercrombie and Fitch jeans. Even standing in the MTR station, there was a map in front of that showed me where you lived. Even watching the rain. The sun. My sunglasses. My makeup. The shoes I wore that day. The dress I wore that day. A girl on the street wearing Hollister, or Aeropostale. Even shopping in The Body Shop. We talked about everything. So everything I see reminds me of you. Dinner. Rice. Tea.
What is happening to me? Why can't I get you out of my head. How come I want to cry any second now? I feel exactly like a girl who has just broken up with someone she loved. Except I never fell in love with you. I just fell for you, head first, faster than I've ever fallen. And you didn't catch me.
I don't want to go out and see family. I just want to stay inside and mope. I don't want to be accompanied by family, I just want to be alone. I don't want to eat, I don't want to shop, I don't want to do anything but curl up in a ball and cry. I almost cried today on the bus, because everything reminded me of you. Even the guy standing in front of me in the line for the bus was wearing Abercrombie and Fitch jeans. Even standing in the MTR station, there was a map in front of that showed me where you lived. Even watching the rain. The sun. My sunglasses. My makeup. The shoes I wore that day. The dress I wore that day. A girl on the street wearing Hollister, or Aeropostale. Even shopping in The Body Shop. We talked about everything. So everything I see reminds me of you. Dinner. Rice. Tea.
What is happening to me? Why can't I get you out of my head. How come I want to cry any second now? I feel exactly like a girl who has just broken up with someone she loved. Except I never fell in love with you. I just fell for you, head first, faster than I've ever fallen. And you didn't catch me.
I need to get away from here. I need to be back in Vancouver. I need my friends.
aw man.. its okay.
ReplyDeleteWell if i were you, i would make the most of it, i'll let what my heart leads me. even if it means that it'll never work out, or long distance. The feeling of not fulfilling something can be stronger than regret. I say, you're still in hk, he is still in hk, do something!